You know you've been out of a touch for a month when you get back online to learn that Manto has a new liver (I trust they are keeping her well-nourished on African garlic and potato. None of that foreign Irish potato, thank you) and that Chelsea fans can no longer throw celery. I didn't know that Chelsea fans were fond of celery. See how much I've learnt in one hour online?
"...the English Premiership champions issued the warning on Friday after recent referee reports mentioned the throwing of the salad vegetable at matches."
I mean really, what is this world coming to?