Sunday, October 19, 2008

TAR: Special Edition Part II

Finally, the much awaited, much anticipated sequel of The Amazing Race: Special Edition. Like all bad sequels, it doesn't have much plot and the starring actors weren't paid enough to learn their script.

Tuesday 7th October: Humming the tunes of Chicago, Mills and Koekie must cram the following attractions into their final full day in NYC: Wall Street, Ground Zero, Bull statue in financial district, Circle Line cruise around Manhattan, view Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, view Brooklyn Bridge, Natural History Museum and/or Guggenheim Museum and the Metropolitan Museum. Without too much delay, Koekie and Mills successfully navigate the subway to the financial district, where Ground Zero dominates in its absense of height. Having found Wall Street easily enough (by following the panicked traders), Mills and Koekie lose points as they cannot find the notorious Bull Statue. They bypass this challenge and race up to Pier 16 to join the tourist crowds for a boat tour around Manhattan Island. Koekie shows general lack of geographical knowledge, by admitting that she didn't realise New York City was largely one little island. Having thoroughly sighted and documented the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island and Brooklyn Bridge, Koekie and Mills must squeeze in lunch at the original John's Pizzeria (where they learn that pizza PIE is in fact, a whole pizza) and then proceed to the Natural History Museum where they must visit as many exhibitions before being evicted at closing time. By evening they are able to squeeze in another visit to the Financial District (the Bull's bronzed balls must be located and groped... mission eventually accomplished), and dinner at Big Nick's New York Diner with a local SA acquaintance.

Wednesday 8th October: Koekie and Mills make up for lost time by making quick progress across Central Park to visit the Metropolitan Museum, severing underestimating the size and interest contained in this building. Whirring through the Asian, Greek and Egyption and other African exhibits, they must draw themselves away and along to the Guggenheim Museum. Here, they lose points for not realising that the Guggenheim is being renovated and therefore largely closed to the public. However, the pair recover quickly, taking one last stroll through Central Park (brisk pace, as Koekie is in need of a toilet again), and heading down to Times Square for a last minute shopping session, where they are lucky enough to glimpse a sighting of the well-known (and aging) Naked Cowboy. Koekie earns points for purchasing a pair track pants with "I *heart* NY" across the bum. Koekie and Mills are on the bus back up the Boston by 3pm.

Mills earns major extra points, when he reveals that he has arranged for the couple to be accommodated at the Boston Backbay Hilton for one night, in celebration of their 6 year anniversary. Big points. Huge.

Thursday 9th October: The cracks are starting to show on our starring couple, with neither wanting to concede that the other has any sense of direction (and neither do). With a few threats on each other's health, Koekie and Mills eventually find their way to their Bostonian hosts' abode and then begin the Boston sightseeing in earnest. First stop, Harvard Square and campus. Mills tries to up his intellect by purchasing Harvard clothing. Back into town, Koekie and Mills find themselves on a WWII amphibious Boston Duck Tour. Mills gains extra points by quacking with enthusiasm when instructed by Conducktor. The day is completed with the best seafood that has been had in a while, and a bit more baseball viewing (where Koekie is able to put her new found Fenway knowledge to conversational use, gaining points for application).

Friday 10th October: Mills and Koekie set of on a walking tour of The Freedom Trail around historical Boston. Sights include: Massachusetts State Houses (both present and original), Old Granary graveyard (where the founders and signers of the Declaration of Independence rest), Quincy Market, Faneuil Hall, Paul Revere's original house, the USS Constitution, Boston Common, Boston Public Gardens and... the bar that inspired the Cheers series (okay, that's not really part of the historical tour). The final challenge for Boston sightseeing, is to find the Samual Adams Brewery. Koekie is not a team player in this event, as she feels that there are more interesting things to do than hunt down a hard-to-find tiny brewery in the middle of nowhere. After a wandering taxi trip, a directionless stomp and having to wait for 50 mins for the next tour, she feels justified. Her whining is dulled somewhat after the third free tasting an hour later.

Saturday 11th October: The Bostonian hosts organise an All-American sports day for the departing guests. Koekie and Mills must face a number of baseball pitches (slow - extra fast) in a batting cage, learn to throw and receive a football like a NFL star, and shoot hoops like Yao Ming. Koekie only braves slow and medium pitches, while Mills attempts (but doesn't get a whiff of) a few extra fast balls. On the basketball pitch, Koekie runs circles around Mills but soon loses interest and runs out of breath. On the football pitch, Koekie proves to be a very stupid receiver, but surprisingly accurate with her throws. Koekie sees a promising career as a quarterback. Nobody has signed her yet.

Sunday 12th October: Koekie and Mills get home to find one half-dead fish and a very shtanky apartment.


rd said...

Awesome photo of the bridges! I like bridges...
Ya, finding Sam Adams would not be high on my agenda, America is not known for having enjoyable beers.
The day of US sport sounds good, good to know our days of playing "catch" in the garden weren't wasted, but you probably couldn't receive because you were trying to do it one handed!

Sounds like a good trip, glad you still alive from your night in a Hilton, i hear you can get all sorts of nasty itches from them

kop said...

I can't believe you bought "I heart NY" pants. Lots of respect lost.

Koekie said...

RD: I actually quite enjoyed the beer... Especially the pumpkin ale. I also forgot to mention the pumpkin coffee and pumpkin doughnuts. Would you guess that it was pumpkin season?
I'm a stupid football receiver because I didn't understand my instructions. Quarterback: "You run, then loop, then run back that way and I'll throw the ball to you when you pass the third tree.." Me: "Meh?" I could catch, but I just never got to the right place.

KOP: I *heart* NY, and proud of it. My bumpants rock. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.