Friday, April 09, 2010

TGIF... yesterday

I spent the whole of yesterday thinking it was Friday. The realisation - when it finally happened at 4.30 PM - assaulted me like the full frontal vision of a flasher in a playground. It was not pretty. I had even written a post about it being TGIF, which it was not. I lost interest after that.

How messed up can my calendar-clock be... especially as it's been a short week anyway. I spent the whole of Tuesday thinking it was Monday, and then spent the whole of Thursday thinking it was Friday. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Alien abduction. It's the only realistic explanation for my confusion.

Ag man, what a shutty week to not be in SA. I feel so left out. No one's threatened to touch any one on a Dutch TV studio. And no one's petulantly thrown any journalist out for asking questions at a press conference (serious thought though: why didn't the other journos show any solidarity? There must be more to this story than what we're seeing on youtube).

However, I do get the impression that there's actually a lot more happening in South Africa, when viewed from the outside. Does that make any sense? Let me try to explain... Some of the UK and Dutch press are merrily flinging poep about how the SA situation is so much more violent and volatile now that ET has been killed. But yet, despite this, people living in South Africa (outside of Ventersdorp) are not preparing for the onslaught of a race war. I spoke to a friend earlier today when she was at the shops and was horrified to learn that she was not stocking up on tinned goods. How will she survive when the country implodes?

To my friends and family living in SA - did you know that you are currently living through increased turbulence and violence? No, really.... stop going about your daily lives and pay attention. What do you mean all skin colours are still mixing and using the same entrances and facilities?? Clearly you are not aware that the English football team have been personally threatened with machetes when they arrive next month? Yes, that's right. It's not about you, or He Who Shall Not Be Named, or the Only White Baboons. It's about the England fans and players. They are the real targets here. Also, Dutch supporters have been warned not to wear orange as this will draw attention to them as 'tourist boers'. Because the fanny packs, black socks and jesus-sandals won't do enough to highlight that.

Fortunately, the papers conveying these messages are not exactly known for their political analysis. They are more readily known for their page three models (top-heavy plain Janes, without a concern for modesty). So readers of such papers aren't likely to be going to the World Cup anyway, as they don't have passports and can't be asked to relocate their caravans.

Okay. I said I was going to step away from the politics. But I can't.
It's too entertaining.

And as for that petty Visagie/eNews performance... Only in South Africa can a racially and culturally charged incident become a joke - and a dance remix - in under 24 hours. The term, "too soon for jokes" holds no weight when it comes to idiotic statements and bumbling buffoons of all shapes and colours. This is a splendid thing, because it means that (despite what we might bitch and moan about) we do actually enjoy freedom of speech in SA.

Puerile politicking aside, we do make me proud sometimes.

1 comment:

kop said...

you say alien abduction, i say 24hr drinking spree.