Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Lavatorial

Sticking with a toilet theme this week...

At work today, we reopened that age-old discussion: when is a toilet seat in its correct position?

I feel I should point out that we have shared toilets at work. None of this his&hers segregation. And we never have issues with the toilet seat in the office - the boys are well trained (and outnumbered 5 to 1), but we still argue the virtues of the toilet seat.

The guys maintain that "we need it up, you need it down. We put it up when you leave it down, you can put it down when we need it up." I strongly, vehemently don't agree with this piss-poor argument.

If men didn't move the thing in the first place, I would have no need - and certainly no desire - to touch the toilet seat. Boys are so proud of the fact that they can pee standing up, and yet they need every assistance to aim their 2mm stream of urine into a large, gaping (and most noticably - unmoving) bowl. If you're having such a problem with not splashing the edges, plant your tush like Sitting Bull... in which case, you will be needing the toilet seat down, thank you very much.

A toilet seat is hinged. It works like any other door hinge - it has an open and a closed position. Do you leave you kitchen cupboards open? Your fridge door? The oven?

If a man can work those hinges, why can't he work a toilet seat hinge?

Open.
Closed.

It's as simple as that.

2 comments:

Peaches said...

The toilet seat was made to be down.

Man, in generals, aim and splashage is why god created urinals.

End of.

Catalyst said...

What?! No, the toilet seat was not made to be down! Ask any Rhodes student, the hinge is there solely to facilitate proper communication between the inebriated and their porcelain god!

Koeks: The piss up sounds like proper fun! Get bounced on your noggin lots? Sounds like a Founders Hall ball alright... Or Skid or Kimberley Hall...