Ikea and noombies

In case anyone was wondering, Boyfriend is alive and well (if a little wet and cold) in Den Haag, The Netherlands. He’s progressing in leaps and bounds – and has even had the pleasure of experiencing notorious shitty Hollandse service (don’t be fooled, it’s not just in Africa).

Good news – he’s found a flat to rent for us, effective immediately. Bad news – our furniture will only come out of container next week, so Boyfriend had to buy a bed to sleep on. Off he pottered to Ikea, well known for its homely factory warehouse atmosphere.

He ordered – and paid for – a single bed, to be delivered on the weekend. Weekend arrived and as promised Ikea delivered a bed. Well, half a bed. I mean, Boyfriend didn’t explicitly state he actually wanted a mattress AND a frame. Surely that’s too much to ask.

So the driver promised to return on a second trip with the rest of Boyfriend’s bed. But… didn’t. After a number of phonecalls to Ikea, Boyfriend eventually made another 1hr journey back to Ikea to explain his complaint in person.

“We’ll deliver the rest of your bed… that’ll be 35 euros please.”
“No, no.” Explained Boyfriend. “I’ve already paid for my bed, including delivery.”
“Yes, now we have to make another trip so you have to pay for another delivery…”

Boyfriend informs me that he eventually managed to explain that the bed could’ve been delivered in one delivery, but wasn’t. He didn’t pay another 35 euros.

The poor bugger has finally got a whole bed, after spending a few nights on a bare mattress. See pic of (our) cosy room. Now he just needs to buy a hammer and a few tools to put the bed frame together…
Back to me.

Who wants my job? I spent the whole day on a shoot with 27 scantily clad models. Lots and lots of perky boobs and g-strings. My job – amongst other things – was to cover the models in a shimmering spray, so that they looked as shiny as a twisted pile of tag-teaming WWE wrestlers. Big noombies popping out everywhere. I was the envy of every penis within an eyeball radius.

Every guy in our department stopped past for a visit, "Hi Koekie... I just to wanted to ask you a random question that couldn't possibly have waited until you were back in your office...” while swiveling their eyes out of their sockets as they tried to look in every direction at once.

At least it beats fighting with Facilities about my broken aircon…

ps. now i'm blocked from my blog again because I wrote about nip-nips and pee-pees. Oops, naughty Koekie.