Sunday, August 17, 2008

How to win friends and influence people - 2

For those of you who missed the first instalment (where were you last month?), please read it here.

Right, now that we're all caught up, let's proceed onto Step Four, when meeting another group of new people...

Get ready to leave home. Remember to pack lipstick, adjust earings, add fresh spray of deodorant, apply cream to hands. Dry skin is the sign of a girlfriend who does not care for her appearance. Go to the loo beforehand. Also remember to pack spare tampons, it being that time of the month and all. Stay on top of your game, think of all eventualities.

Walk with boyfriend to pick up boyfriend's new colleague from hotel. Smile, make social chit-chat. Shine as expat partner. Walk through busy shopping streets and city centre to join other colleagues at restaurant. Meet other colleague's family and in-laws. Shining. Exemplary social skills.

Half an hour after meeting all these new people, realise that unzipped fly is gaping and you have just walked through town and met a range of new acquaintances, flashing your panties to anyone who cared to notice.

Step Four: Make sure to leave a lasting first impression. People who prioritise minor details such as gaping fly zips are easily forgotten.


Anonymous said...

I went to a business meeting this week in Fourways Mall with my pullover inside-out - washing labels and all on the outside!
With love - Joupa

Lauren said...

love it Doldy!!!! I have stood in a line at the buffet at Cathedral Peak Hotel with my skirt tucked neatly into my stockings.... and I agree.... there is no better way to make a lasting impression!

Don't believe a word I write said...

Koekie, I'm not in the habit of partner-bashing, but I feel Mills should be blamed for this. Where were his eyes, for crying in a bucket?!?! He should have told you that you were showing off your Mickey Mouse bloomers to Dutch society.

Anonymous said...

My question is that why does no one tell us when we have a) zipper open b) pullover inside out c) loo paper trailing from our stockings...

Why people why?!!! For your amusement and anyone else you care to share the joke with? ....hehe

Anonymous said...

I'm sure those slick, mod, openminded folk thought it was simply a new fashion, 's all!

Koekie said...

Anon - it's like it's almost... genetic. Thanks.

Lau - spread the love (and draw attention from me, please)

DWD - yes, it's his fault. Thank you for seeing the point to this rant ;-)

V - I always feel obliged to tell complete strangers these things. And I must say, it's never really appreciated. But I really would've appreciated someone pointing my flapping zipper out to me!

Anon2 - everyone will be doing it be the end of summer. You'll see. Gaping jeanpant is the new black.