Sunday, August 10, 2008

Losing grip

Seven. The number of glasses I have broken in our home, this year.

I think it was five or six last year, but I can't rightly recall. When we moved into this little abode, we had so many drinking glasses we couldn't keep them all in one place. Now the remaining 6 (only two matching) look rather pathetic on their assigned shelf.

On Friday night, I dropped one with such skill (in the lounge) that we are still finding shards of rose-coloured glass as far a field as the bedroom.

But please don't think I'm a messy clutz. Well... not always. I recently managed to break a glass so cleanly that a very neat circle, about a centimetre deep, simply formed around the rim and then seperated from the base. Precision, like a glass cutter.

I think what amazes me the most, is that I'm not a clutz when it comes to someone else dropping something. Then I have the reflexes of a mongoose, and am likely to catch the spilled object without stopping to think.

When I drop something, however, I do one of two things:
  1. All available limbs spasm into action at the same time, inevitably resulting in me kicking/elbowing/headbutting the falling object with further force into the floor.
  2. Or my brain shuts down completely, switches into drool mode and I do nothing until the final plate has stopped spinning.

Both equally (in)effective.

At work, last week, I did not break a glass. Hoorah. But I did manage to drop a glass from the top of a flight of stairs, sending it clunking all the way down to the bottom, without breaking. Fortunately our stairs (that I have not fallen down - yet) are carpetted, which is what saved this particular glass. But it did make a splendid noise and got everyone's attention.

I'm not even sure how I did it. I was carrying two glasses - one in either hand. How hard can it be? I'm twenty-sss--omething, and I'm pretty sure I've got nursery school reports commending my fine motor coordination. I know I have two fully-functioning opposable thumbs. Why can't I hold onto things?

Grip, damnit. Grip!

1 comment:

rd said...

I seem to say the same thing after posts like this, but it's always appropriate -

Cease to amaze me, you never do