Are you there god? It’s me, Margaret

I’m shipping all our stuff this week. Yes, this is an optimistic move because at this stage, the authourities are not so keen in letting me live in their country. Pants to them.

As with every move, this entails going through all the hidden shelves in the cupboards and all the sentimental boxes of crap etc. It turns out that I have saved, for the last three years, a pair of very worn Garfield socks. Why? There was also a hairclip, consisting of four florescent shoelaces. Again… why? Of course, I kept the hair clip. One day, the 80s will come back and then my orange, pink, yellow and green shoelace hair piece will be the envy of all to survey. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

By far the best, and most random treasured item was my “Learn to play the gum leaf” CD and explanatory booklet. My mother informs me I bought that while on hockey tour in Australia. The gum leaf. Not a musical instrument, but just an ordinary leaf off a gum tree. WHY WOULD ANYONE BUY THAT?

Then I found my old diaries. I went through a stage where I thought I was Judy Blume. Oh the teenage angst. Well, technically pre-teen angst:

12 February 1991
Dear Diary,

I can’t believe I wasn’t invited to Sarah’s party. She said we were best friends. Well if that’s how best friends treat each other, then I’m Mose’s uncle… We’ve known each other since nurserarry (sic) school. I just asked mom for her opion (sic) on what to wear. She takes everything so seriously. It’s not like I was asking her about sex or anything. I was just asking her opion (again – sic)…

I think my favourite entries were the ones about my family. Obviously, being the eldest, I was not very loved.

16 October 1994
Dear Diary,

Why are brothers such pains? I’m not sure if he (Dorkface) can really help it. He is just such a dickhead. And now he’s seen me write dickhead in MY diary and he’s told mom.

I can’t decide whether to slant my writing backwards or forwards [Present day Koekie: both slants demonstrated in respective directions] Anyway, Dorkface has now got me into so much trouble. Mom said, “Nice one, Koekie.” I said, “Thanks.” Mom, “Real nice, Koekie.” I said, “Thanks.”

Ps. Why are brothers such pains? Answer: It is so, because they are boys.

I was a real little trouble causer, wasn’t I? I love the flippant interaction with my parental authority. Also, I was twelve and saying phrases like, ‘it is so.’ No wonder Sarah didn’t invite me to her party.

Another:

12 April 1994, 20 to 12pm [I think I meant midday]
Dear Diary,

Why is life so unfair? Why do my parents love my brother [the aforementioned Dorkface] more than me?

Next entry:

12 April 1994, 16 to 1pm
Maybe my family isn’t so bad after all. They’re forgiven.

How magnanimous of me. You think they possibly fed me in between? I think Seymour The Beast was placated.

It has been an interesting character study... apparently I’ve always been a drama queen. And my favourite topic was and always will be: me.