This is what a pot should look like...
This is what a pot looks like, after I have gotten hold of it...
Last night, I invited friends around for dinner, which I catered for with great care. I didn't break anything. I didn't spill a drop of red wine on anything (although there were very close calls). I did, however, manage to put an end to pot that has belonged to Mills since the days of Rhodes-long-gone.
Short story: steamed veggies, too much talking, not enough water. Cracking pot, lots of steam (okay, maybe slight traces of smoke), cries of awe and shock and wonder at my cooking prowess from the guests. A pat on the back from my boyfriend, congratulating me on never letting him down.
My cooking extravaganza was slightly interrupted by NC putting her foot in her mouth spectacularly, with a rant about "those anal policemen wankers" (I paraphrase). I quickly stepped in before she could go further.
"Um, NC... I know you've only just met the man sitting to your left, but can I take this opportunity to point out that he is a policeman by profession? Just thought I'd throw that out there."
That was a good icebreaker - followed shortly by my pyrotechnics. I like to keep my dinners interactive.