Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Why I need a job

  1. I need new shoes.
  2. The weather has turned shitty.
  3. I am addicted to Facebook: Fred has changed his status from "just about to shower" to "showered and feeling good and clean and fresh. Tralala." Mary is no longer married. Marike has removed Harry Trotter and the Trudgeon of Love from her favourite books. You have 111 friends. You are cool. Jonathon has joined the group "Things and phrases that I like people to know that I like".
  4. I am addicted to Girls of the Playboy Mansion. Holly, Bridget and Kendra rock my world. This is possibly the definitive symptom of my unemployment. When I had a work life, I would never have watched this bollocks. Now I can't get enough of the Playboy Mansion. If I were living in the USA, I'd be watching from a trailor park... with peroxide-platinum hair, recovering from my most recent augmentation.
  5. My lunch time is dominated by BBC Prime scheduling.
  6. I can recite the "True or False" fillers on E! Entertainment Network - I know that Nicole Kidman is a lepidopterophobe.
  7. If I don't find a decent job, I may have to resort to being a check-out chick at the local supermarket.
  8. I'm losing motivation.


Peaches said...

Girls of The Playboy Mansion rocks.

Where else are we going to learn how to catch and keep geriatrics in silk nylom gowns amused with our talk of fur bikinis, jumping out of cakes and general clotheslessness??!!

ChewTheCud said...

Can you say "Would you like fries with the?" in dutch yet?


kop said...

I learn something new everyday from your blog, so please don't get a job!

Note: The above statement was not meant to rhyme in anyway.