Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Weather has happened overnight

This morning I got to work to find my desktop covered in anything that was not stapled to a solid surface. Including Vern the Love Fern. Every miscellaneous piece of office equipment was balanced precariously on my PC, monitor and keyboard. My mouse was unplugged... and my chair had lost its wheels.

All this, because I left work yesterday before my team mates (Fat Kid and Duckface) went home. So childish.

On previous occassions (yes, my computer has been treated to similar abuse more than once), my chair was also sodden from a cup of water, which I sat, I mean squelched down in.

In response, I set Duckface's autocorrect to change the to small penis. He is even less of a computer genius than me. His reaction was priceless... "I... I... did NOT... type that!!"

I also hid the Fat Kid's stash of crisps and chocolates, which was small consolation but at least gave me a reason to smile in retaliation. I need more creative ideas though. Any suggestions?

The MD was in this morning to hear my distressed cry/whine of, "where have they hidden my chair's wheels...?!" So she subsequently sent out a general email announcing that today was "Be EXTRA Nice To Koekie Day," instructing the Fat Kid and Duckface to wait on me hand and foot.
I'd prefer to call it Princess Koekie Day (it just rolls off the tongue), but the gesture was appreciated.

Moving on to top news. The weather in the Netherlands is windy.

This will most definitely not be reported in the daily papers tomorrow (unlike other countries), but it does mean that Central Station runs on a minimal service at a time when more people are using public transport than bikes. The reason? Because one of the multistorey buildings above the tram station consists largely of glass windows, which are not set but are rather precariously balanced in frames that could fall out in strong gusts of wind. Who the hell was the architect/engineer who okayed that design?

Hmmm, Netherlands. Windmills. Windy. So we'll just balance this wall of 3m x 3m glass panes seven storeys up. I'm sure it'll be fine... If not, we can just close off the central station down below. No worries.

Further to the trams being rerouted this evening, the robots/traffic lights/verkeerlichte around Central station were also out of order. This was a really interesting case study. Rosebank during a power outage is like poetry in motion compared to Den Haag centraal this evening. There's none of this one-one-one flow which we sometimes manage to synchronise in SA (provided no arsehole stuffs it up)...

What I witnessed this evening was a slow creep until all vehicles (including bikes) are bumper to bumper, wedged into each other in the middle of each intersection... kinda like an Escher work of art. Then it's just a matter of wills as to who has right of way.

Fortunately I was on the bus. When it comes to private property over municipal property... the bus driver wins simply by caring less about his vehicle's front fender.


kop said...

i wish the london buses would play demolition derby!

Anonymous said...

I gotta try the "small penis" thing with some real irritating people at work. Thanks for the tip!!!

Little Big Sis said...

Ha ha ha... I like the auto correct, will have to give it a try!

Suggestion 1: Take a sreen shot (Alt, print screen) of something they are working on and make it the wall paper on their PC. Even when they close all programs, a copy looks like its still open, and it won't go away.

Suggestion 2: Roll a piece of paper into a tube, or find a piece of pipe somewhere. Fill it with confetti from a punch and while they're deep in thought (if that ever happens) blow on one end and shower them with paper bits!

Suggestion 3: Inspired by a story from your dad last night: change one of their dials to dial a different number, like themself!

Don't believe a word I write said...

Hahahahah!!! Very very good revenge, I enjoyed that. A colleague and I once swapped the "m" and "n" keys on another colleague's keyboard while he was on holiday, as well as his drawers (the kind you store stuff in, not the kind you wear under clothing). The resulting confusion and panic were most satisfying.

P.S. Thanks for the weather update, keep it up.