Some dads by their daughters jewellery, some buy them a car. Others get a chunk of the most expensive real estate in Africa… She is only 22 and has a stake in the V&A Waterfront worth about R420-million, bought for her by daddy.Instead of having that life, I have this…
Three days in the life of Calamity Koekie:
Having survived Friday’s ‘launch’ - which was pushed back a week and a half when advised to give the gimps more time to learn the system – I headed off to join friends for sushi in Parkhurst. Yum. Love sushi.
When the meal EVENTUALLY arrived (could they taunt me for any longer?) the girl sitting next to me leaned across to grab some ginger – which she dropped directly in my lap. Assuring her that if she hadn’t done it I definitely would’ve, we carried on with our meal.
That’s when I dropped a clump of wasabi in my lap. I’m not sure how, as I was aiming 30cm to the right of where it landed and it shouldn’t have come anywhere near my lap, but these things happen. Much hilarity as I joke about only needing to add soy sauce and I would be good enough to eat!
A few minutes later, Cl obliged, by nimbly dropping her California roll into her side dish – sending a tsunami of soy sauce into my crotch.
Gods of chaos 1: Koekie ‘call me sushi’: 0
Saturday, Boyfriend and I decided to flip the couch. So easy in theory. We have a metal-framed sleeper couch in our lounge which was looking decidedly ‘sat on’. Flipping it turned into the mission of the weekend.
Right, lay couch flat. Now, grab one end of mattress each and pu… puuu… Okay. So pulling isn’t going to work. That mattress is made of solid lead, lined with concrete. Boyfriend and I take a step back to reassess the situation and I start to get the giggles.
Our next attempt was to try to drag the mattress off the frame. This resulted in moving the couch a quarter inch across the room, mattress still attached. We succeeded in getting the couch airborne, just high enough for it to land on my foot on touch down. Much squealing from me. More giggles (once couch was removed).
And, before you ask, the mattress was in no way attached to the frame. It was just damn heavy. I promise, we checked. Also bear in mind, we were actually on our way out the door when we decided to attempt this workout. So I was dressed to kill in a pretty summer dress and now sweating (and squealing) like a pig – and flashing my ass in our lounge window directly onto the parking lot. What a view.
Another attempt resulted in Boyfriend pinning his hand between mattress and wall. Once he managed to convince me to stop clutching my sides and extract his hand, we paused again to consider our options. Well, Boyfriend paused. I giggled.
We then tried rolling the mattress off the couch. This proved fairly constructive, although it entailed me flinging my full weight on to the mattress while Boyfriend shuffled around the couch to adjust his position.
After a few more attempts (and the couch landing on my other foot) – taking frequent breaks to control my giggling while Boyfriend waited hands-on-hips and rolled his eyes – we eventually succeeded in our mission.
Ah… the sweet, sweaty smell of success.
Koekie and Boyfriend: 1 Couch: 3 (1 hand; 2 feet)
On Sunday, Boyfriend and I went to the driving range for the first time in absolute ages. I was assigned the task of collecting the baskets of balls – at this driving range that means inserting a token into a machine, which then spews forth a predetermined amount of golf balls.
Insert token. Clunk, clunk, clunk clunk, as fifty-odd balls make their way down the machine. Unfortunately, I forgot to place basket underneath chute, so fifty-odd balls made their way out of the birthing canal and continued on to freedom, basketless. Think Sony Bravia bouncing ball ad, but with less colour.
Gods of chaos (channeling through Koekie): 1 Recovered golf balls: about 43