Thursday, November 16, 2006

Aggression is...

Why this day sucks like a chocolate-coated scrotum:
  1. It started off well, there was no warning.
  2. The witch flew in early, just to mismanage and pick fights with all and sundry.
  3. The witch doesn't know what she's talking about, especially not when it comes to software, which makes getting anything done extremely arduous and time consuming. But she wants everything done NOW.
  4. I had my meeting with HR and manager, who asked Ranger Mouse if my taking leave was really, completely “unjuggle-able”.
    Ranger Mouse replied: Yes. Completely unjuggleable, unfeasible and unmanageable.
    This was met with open-mouthed silence from me and manager. I’m not coming on that Monday. Leave or no leave. Mostly on principle.
  5. Power cuts.
  6. Our team is one member down today, because apparently other people can take leave as long as they’re not me.
  7. Boyfriend is having no luck in PTA. We’ve established what stamp is missing, which can only be acquired from Foreign Affairs. Our birth certificates need the stamp too, but… wait for this… they can’t be more than one year old. Last time I checked, my birth had not expired.
    I am, therefore I was born.
    I thought birth certificate was a once off. Apparently not.
  8. We now have to reapply to proof that we were born, having just proved that we never got married.
  9. Boyfriend and I are probably going to get to The Hague by 2009, just in time for his contract to expire.
  10. Birth certificates can expire. Seriously, WTF.

I want to scream at just about every single one of the mentioned on this list: “Jy was uit jou ma se gat gebore want haar poes was te besig!” (Forgive my Afrikaans spelling, or lack thereof)

All irritants must die.


Anonymous said...

or: "jou ma naai vir vis-kop, jou klein leilike bliksem!"


Jeanne said...

Se maar woah fokken woa re any -vis vand-vingers analogy.

Glad to hear that somebody else is having as kak a day as me Koeks. Look out for blog on bitches and bomb scares to name but afew things.

Hockey tonight is going to be very interesting and crazy (aka HelsBels Im just going to go crazy)

Champagne Heathen said...

You should double check that birth certificate rubbish. I know I am a logical person. I know you are a logical person. I know the systems were developed by logical people. Sometimes they are not run by logical people, but there have to be ways to bypass such idiots.

Birth certificates do not expire.

It sounds like they want to make money. I say rant & put the fear into them, and they'll relent.

Birth certficates do not expire.

Koekie said...

I phoned the Dutch embassy. THe guy very patiently explained that our birth certificates may not have expired, but they will not be valid internationally unless they have been issued in the last year.

According to the 1961 Motherfucking Hague motherfucking Convention.

The thing is we applied for new passports, waited, then got told we need certificate of non-marriage, waited, then got told we need new birth certificates... what would've been nice is maybe a list with everything on it, at once. Yes?

Jeanne said...

This birth certificate bollocks is madness!

Hope boyfriend gives those embassy/foreign affairs nobs hell!

Champagne Heathen said...

OH! The FIRST WORLD guys are asking for it. That makes more sense. They have systems that work & work fast. They don't realise that we have systems that just don't. Have you explained how difficult a request this is?? Or just be truly African and buy a renewed one!

Anonymous said...

Koekie, you're a wuss! Do the dare...

Oddly enough, being tired, hungover and lecherous does not make for a productive day...

Koekie said...

Dear Non-Anon

I am not sending Ranger Mouse an email for your amusement. I prefer to have nothing to do with the ball-less wonder if absolutely possible.

Find someone else to toy with.

I may send it on my last day.

Anonymous said...

Can't, no-one else wants to play with me! Bastards and their sodding work ethic..

Revolving Credit said...

I think for a birth certificate to expire, you need to die!!

Didn't know that resurrection was a visa requirement for the Netherlands.

I wonder what they require for a work permit - need to prove that you can grow tulips out you arse.

Maybe you should plant some now, just to be safe.

Koekie said...

See Rev, if they'd put that on the list too that would be great!

1. Renew passport
2. Acquire proof of never marrying
3. Update proof of being born
4. Plant tulips up arse for further work requirements

Revolving Credit said...

You may need to plant two lips on some arse to resolve this quicker.