Things I'd like to say at work...

Thanks to TC for this... there were 40 in total but I've selected just a few I'd like to use today:

1. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
2. How about never? Is never good for you?
3. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.
4. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
5. I see the stuff-up fairy has visited you again.
6. I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a damn.
7. I'm visualising duct tape over your mouth.
8. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
9. If I throw a stick, will you fetch it?
10. How do I set the laser printer to stun...