My reputation precedes me.
Today I got an interesting phonecall from a Rhodes friend, who I met up with at the re-onion on Friday night...
Him: Hi Koekie, how’s work going.
Me: Fine. Busy. What you want?
Him: Where’s the nearest Adult World?
Him: Hahaha… No, seriously. I know you know these things – where’s the nearest Adult World.
Me: Oh, right… I’m glad you thought of me for this. Well, for you it’s probably easiest to go off the highway onto Corlett, it’s the on the left after Melrose Arch. There's one on Jan Smuts, but it's more effort to get to.
Him: Fantastic. You’re a special kid.
Me: Thanks. There’s also a Hustler shop across the road, but the Adult World has better variety.
Him: I’ll just take your word for it.
Apparently, I am a sex guru amongst my friend and colleagues – mostly because I tend to talk smutty, I guess. Don’t tell Boyfriend, he’ll expect me to show more aptitude in the bedroom…
Last night it was determined that I am most definitely not an expert when it comes to relationships. I forget anniversaries and buy Christmas and birthday presents last minute, much to Helsbels’ disgust.
Boyfriend and Hels have both already made lists about what needs to be bought – and for whom - before Dec 25. I admitted that I’ll be lucky if I plan anything before Dec23. This got us to talking about previous presents we’ve bought for our significant others.
Hels’ list included: a watch for her then-boyfriend’s 21st, and, most recently, a Persian cat for her current boyfriend.
Boyfriends list of presents for me included: Fossil sunglasses and a designer dress.
My list of presents for Boyfriend over the years includes: a second-hand rugby jersey (it was a joke); a Mnet beach towel and a set of wine glasses (that I got as a corporate gift); amongst other atrocities.
It’s about give and take. He gives, I take.
I don’t do presents, so please don’t get your hopes up for Christmas. Only a lucky few can expect a card.