Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Dr Love

My reputation precedes me.

Today I got an interesting phonecall from a Rhodes friend, who I met up with at the re-onion on Friday night...

Him: Hi Koekie, how’s work going.
Me: Fine. Busy. What you want?
Him: Where’s the nearest Adult World?
Me: Hahaha…
Him: Hahaha… No, seriously. I know you know these things – where’s the nearest Adult World.
Me: Oh, right… I’m glad you thought of me for this. Well, for you it’s probably easiest to go off the highway onto Corlett, it’s the on the left after Melrose Arch. There's one on Jan Smuts, but it's more effort to get to.
Him: Fantastic. You’re a special kid.
Me: Thanks. There’s also a Hustler shop across the road, but the Adult World has better variety.
Him: I’ll just take your word for it.

Apparently, I am a sex guru amongst my friend and colleagues – mostly because I tend to talk smutty, I guess. Don’t tell Boyfriend, he’ll expect me to show more aptitude in the bedroom…

Last night it was determined that I am most definitely not an expert when it comes to relationships. I forget anniversaries and buy Christmas and birthday presents last minute, much to Helsbels’ disgust.

Boyfriend and Hels have both already made lists about what needs to be bought – and for whom - before Dec 25. I admitted that I’ll be lucky if I plan anything before Dec23. This got us to talking about previous presents we’ve bought for our significant others.

Hels’ list included: a watch for her then-boyfriend’s 21st, and, most recently, a Persian cat for her current boyfriend.

Boyfriends list of presents for me included: Fossil sunglasses and a designer dress.

My list of presents for Boyfriend over the years includes: a second-hand rugby jersey (it was a joke); a Mnet beach towel and a set of wine glasses (that I got as a corporate gift); amongst other atrocities.

It’s about give and take. He gives, I take.

I don’t do presents, so please don’t get your hopes up for Christmas. Only a lucky few can expect a card.

9 comments:

chewthecud said...

koeks the porno directory. thats impressive and a bit scary at the same time.

Revolving Credit said...

How about as a present, letting boyfriend give you a comprehensive aptitude test

Jeanne said...

Dont forget Koeks, aka Dr Luuuuuurrrrrrvevvvvveeeee, that you are an adept pimper of pals!!

Ps. Smut talk and Hase rock

Koekie said...

Chew: Smut Directory. Look me up, I'm in the yellow pages.
Rev: hehe.. I'll think about it...
J: Battery powered hase and liquid lunches rock.

1 savanah
2 savanah
3 savanah
Floor.

Anonymous said...

The last line, Koekie, should read:

Too much of a wuss to stay for one more...

R

Koekie said...

Duuuuude, Ranger Mouse might fire me!

Jeanne said...

Wuss? The Koeksister? The same Koekie who knee slides across dance floors, pinches bums indiscriminantly and can list the stock of her local fuck-a-ware shop?

Anonymous said...

The very same! Besides Koekie, Ranger Mouse has yet to find his testicles, let alone a backbone to actually do anything managerial.

Jeanne, why you not playing wiff da sticks and ball tomorrow? Cos I can like to have my pom-poms ready and efferyfing

Jeanne said...

Have my work year end do, at which I am almost certain to get knocked sideways (judging from last nights activities) on two glasses of wyn.

Am supa bleak about missing the pompoms and dance routine though. Have prepped the team though to flash you some cleavage and thigh so that you do a repeat dance performance at our last game EVER next week. Will even lend you my pink tutu....