At least we can rest assured that he is unlikely to breed. And will probably be pooing through a tube for the rest of his life. Dignity must be earned.
Moving on to the bitch session for the day: when you're making a phonecall and it rings and rings and rings and (x 50), the person you're trying to get hold of is... here's a groundbreaking thought, sit down if you must... probably not in the office yet.
On about ring number 53 I answered the phone.
Dude: "Is Phumzile there?"
Me: No she's not, which is why she wasn't answering her phone.
Dude: "Where is she?"
Me: I don't know.
Dude: "So you must just put the phone down [I shit you not] and I'll phone back until she picks it."
Me: I'd really prefer it if you didn't do that.
Dude: "So what must we now do?"
Me: You could leave a message and I'll give it to her 50 times over.
Dude: "Please tell her to call me when she gets in."
Me: Consider it done.