Friday, November 17, 2006

Because I can

I got into work late today. Why? Because I can.

Ranger Mouse asked me to do him a favour. I smiled sweetly, but I think it’s going be ‘completely unmanageable and unjuggleable’ to get done. Especially as I’m on a go-slow.

My friends once bought me a T-shirt that reads: 'Do NOT mess with me. You will not win'. They thought they were funny but they could have a point.

After the second power cut yesterday, I decided it was a good time to go draw money. Of course, ATMs apparently need electricity to work too. Go figure. So instead, R and I strolled around Woolworths, where I pretended to stab people with a cutlery set, leading to us coining the phrases, “I’m gonna go WOOLIES on your ass”; “things are gonna get WOOLIES in here”; etc.

It was funny at the time, okay.

I also bought a packet of Chuckles (chocolate-coated malt puffs) – mostly because I needed chocolate, but also because I could share the chocolate love at the work place.

I even offered a pair or three to Ranger Mouse, while happily humming one of my all-time favourites:

Suck on my chocolate salted balls...
Put ‘em your mouth and SUCK ‘EM!
I enjoyed it, and that’s all that counts really. Now I am off to Home Affairs for the third time in the last few weeks: to collect a renewed passport and for a reapplication of my birth.

Will someone please stop this whirlwind of fun, I wanna get off and puke.


Peas on Toast said...

Here's yor chunder bucket - bookay - Koeks. Can I join you?

Jeanne said...

You know what I think about Ranger Mouse aka ball-less wonder....desperatly in need of a bra.

Koekie said...

Puking into the Bookay that is life session to commence from 6pm.

Or we could all just get drunk? Let's make it 2pm.

Anonymous said...

Whoohoo, yay for squeaky-takkie and kwassa-kwassa while dodging ever growing puddles of vomitus and people you promised to call but never did!

Saturday will no doubt revolve around me haemorraging my liver through my eyes!!! Can't wait...

I'm gonna go Woolies tonight


Champagne Heathen said...

What on earth is going on these comments? Did I read the right post? Hold on...I will be back, if I can make sense of this!

And good luck to you with Home Affairs, sure to badly stuff your bra with R100 notes!!

Jeanne said...

R, if you're going to be busting out da moves like the Kwassa Kwassa aka jiga ma jiga, then you had better be ready to follow them up with the Manyisa and Sika Lekhekhe.....and a jaegy bomb. All guaranteed to cause spice!

ps: Loose translation:
Manyisa = dodgy horizontal one armed dance move
Sike Lekhekhe = Cutting the cake.....need I saw more

Koekie said...

Champers, sorry if things are getting a little Woolies in here, but if it's any consolation I don't understand much of it either.

Just run with it and through in a few random nonsensical words of your own. It's Friday goddammit... let's go Woolies!

And no, I'm not drunk.

Jeanne said...

Not drunk...yet Koeksuster

Revolving Credit said...

Koeks, when you have to apply for re-birth, do they make you climb back in>

Koekie said...

I was prem so I never liked it much in there anyway...

There were a few screaming babies waiting to be registered, I felt like informing their poor mother's not to waste their time. In twenty years time, dear Anna will have to do it again herself anyway.

Koekie said...

Sober or drunk, I still can't spell... oh well.

At least I can still rhyme... Jiga ma jig!