Good food and whine

Excuse me... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHHHHH

Thank you. I had to get that off my chest. After putting together a witty, thought-provoking, eloquent and of course life-changing post I clicked publish...

“You have logged out of your account. Please sign in again. Ps. We didn’t bother to save the draft you were working on, so suck on our chocolate salty balls.
Yours faithfully, Blogger.”

I swore slightly.

Here we go again. It’s not going to be nearly as groundbreaking, so please send all letters of dissatisfaction and complaint to screwu@blogger.com

I was going to post about bad drivers. But I’m bored of that, so you’ve been spared the tirade. Send grateful letters to same email address.

This weekend, Boyfriend and I bickered our way out to Gallagher Estate for the Good Food and Wine expo. I’m usually not a fan of crowded places, but I can’t resist eat-all-you-can entrances. If you’ve seen Wedding Crashers you’ll know what I’m talking about: “Just a sample, thanks… another sample… thanks…”

Most of my time was spent racing a granny with a pram back and forth in front of the Weber stand – cheese sausage grillers rock my world. The Checkers stand also rocked, with their food conveyor belt… but you had to elbow your way in past the fatties, of course. I felt really sorry for the Sasko bread stand, so I tried some of their rye bread with jam out of pity.

There was even an opulent pet food stand with displays literally good enough to eat. Who feeds their dog that stuff? No wait – who presents their dog’s food like that? Paris Hilton etc, I know… but do normal Midrand-ish people actually buy into that?

We had a lovely time, I found it particularly amusing when Boyfriend managed to drop his mouthful of sparerib pie into his taster of Citrusdal pinotage. I also managed to spill chilli sauce all the way down my arm, onto my right calf and into my Pick n Pay bag (and handy hold-all for freebies and things I’d swiped. Naughty Koekie, going to hell. Much to Boyfriend’s disgust, I stole a Savanah ‘voting’ stick for the Get-set-Cook show we watched. One side has a lemon and the other has a lime. It’s now our Yay-or-Nay voting stick at home. Who ever holds the voting stick, holds absolute power). And so, covered from head to toe in sparerib pie, chilli sauce, free wine and cider, gooey ice cream and fudge we made our glazed way home.

The End.

Two interesting experiments from this weekend:

1. If you drop a bottle of wine from hip height but manage to get your foot in the way before it hits the tiled floor, the bottle is less likely to break but your foot will hurt. Conversely, if you drop a glass bottle of olive oil and, in your attempt to catch it, knock it on to the stove – it will smash spectacularly.
2. Leaving your house keys in the outside of the front door overnight is possibly not the best exercise in personal safety and security, but sometimes you’re lucky and would-be burglars and opportunists don’t notice.

The End. Really.