Mississippi

This morning I was pottering around making as much noise as possible to wake up Boyfriend (because why should he get to sleep when I have to go to work) when he suddenly blurted out, "Mississippi!"

I thought this a mild case of tourettes, but he was apparently copying me from last night. I sat up in my sleep and shouted "Mississippi!" I followed this up by telling him that "it was a long story to explain" and "I always do it anyway" and went back to sleep.

I think I'll make it my new toast... Mississippi!
I like it. And I need a drink. This is why I need a drink:

I got into work to discover that we're training a new temp. HOORAY! Management have cottoned onto the fact that we're desperately short staffed (another person resigned on Monday).

I start working with New Guy, trying to be patient - it's a new system, it's the first day, I'll stress about meeting my own deadlines later, it's not his fault, slowly slowly...

"Okay," I say, "just cut and paste this from here to here." Silence. New Guy hovers cursor uncertainly around page. "You know how to cut and paste, right?"

No.

Screech, grind, crash, THUNK.

Sorry, what?

You've been hired as an online content temp and you don't know how to use Word?! What were the hiring criteria???

Can you type? Yes.
Can you use MS Office suite? No. What's that?
Can you tell us what this is? It's a computer.
You're hired.

He can type, yes. It takes him a while to find the letters, but he does put them in the right order eventually. I spent the next two hours patiently using technogical jargon such as "goobledeegook" like I was talking to a two year old.

Oh my shattered G-string.

He doesn't know the most fundamental functions. I think Cut-and-paste sums it up. I'm trying not to make this personal - I truely blame HR and management, but I think the interview process consisted of "Enter Rosebank taxi rank, ask: do you want to work for X-Media firm. Hired."

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

This is helping our short-staffedness how? Honestly, people.... Mississippi.